I saw an amazing and touching movie tonight, The Accountant. It stirred up so many positive and negative emotions in me that I feel the need to write about it.
Today, I suggested to my husband that we go to a movie for our date night. This had little to do with wanting to see a movie and everything to do with not feeling ready to sit across the table and talk. In fact, it’s been a couple of weeks since we’ve had anything close to a connecting talk. I had expressed to him that I needed space, and despite his resistance to it, I’ve been asserting my need in this area. We are supposed to be starting marriage counseling soon, so hopefully that will bring some change, clarity and direction for the future of our marriage.
There was one more part of the movie that touched me, hurt me, and really made me think about the importance of meaningful connections. There was a point in the movie where the main character gave something to someone, and it showed that he cared, but also that he really understood this person on a deep level. I realized as I watched that scene, that being understood and cherished is something that I deeply desire, something that feels missing in my marriage. I was painfully reminded of the person whom I was drawn to online. I think a couple of reasons I felt drawn to that person was because I felt cared about and I felt understood. That meant something to me, and I realized today that those are some of the important qualities that I desire in a relationship.