Browncurlycute doesn’t raise her voice at her kids. She would never overreact when they do something that triggers a past trauma or a future fear. She doesn’t struggle with these human fallacies because she doesn’t fear the consequences of the things that might go wrong if her children don’t listen to her. Why should she fear these things? She’s decided to let go of perfectionism. Browncurlycute can do anything she wants. She’s practically all powerful. She can have any man she wants, well almost. She smart and funny and cool and so well liked, and hated. But it’s all good for her, cause at least she’s noticed. Browncurlycute matters to people.
Don’t judge her too harshly – I’m speaking to to me here. Judgment and condemnation would be the all too familiar way for me to look at myself. No, there was never an intention to be fake or false, or even to hide. In fact, it was the opposite. For the first time, I felt like I could say things that I would be too afraid to say to anyone but my therapist or husband or closest friends. The anonymity of Browncurlycute gave me the freedom to say whatever was on my heart. To spread my wings and put myself out there in ways that I would be terrified to do in my real life.
I’m grateful for Browncurlycute. She allowed me to test the waters. To see what it feels like to be brave, to be rebellious, to be honest. Because of Browncurlycute, I was able to get the help that I needed in my real life. Help for issues that I might otherwise have never uncovered.